What a difference can one day make.
Day 20
Here is the picture of where I’m at:
My left knee on two pillows and head on two pillows and four towels.
Hmmm I’m making progress.
My back pain is there all day. I can’t really lift anything. Hopefully it’s just soreness.
I did kriya for sciatic nerve before bound lotus thinking that might be the problem but it didn’t seem to ease out the pain. I guess I need to practice it more often.
What hurts now is lifting things, rolling back and forth on my back, and bending forward.
I hope this is part of the process and not real injury.
Liz from FB discussion said she is having similar problem. She suggested not to go so high with the pillows. That means a lot of experimentation will be happening. She was very strong on the point to not give up. I needed it because I was gonna quit tomorrow.
It’s so strange to be thinking about quitting. Especially since this is not due to lack of time or feeling lazy. I really want to do it but my pain and stiffness is standing in my way.
Today was the first night sleeping on a new mattress. It feels heavenly, hopefully it will also improve my back pain. Looking forward to tomorrow.
Day 21
After getting some support from Liz on FB I tried no pillows under my head. I was able to do it, just kept thinking that I need to bend from the hinge of the hips. Instead of somewhere higher. I was fine the whole time and hope I will be ok tomorrow. Need to get more Epsom salt though.
Day 22
Just finished Bound Lotus during Gurunam’s Kirtan. Great idea! I stretched, did some warm ups and my back was fine. On the other hand I started to feel the knees but nothing serious. But hey its always something with this kriya. Back is not perfect and pain seemed lessen.
I’m happy that I stick to it.
WHAT I’VE NOTICED
Volunteering for Gurunam’s Kirtan made me excited and I couldn’t sit still because i had all this energy of expectation and excitiment. When the concert began, I was still pretty scattered.
After 11 minutes of Bound lotus I was feeling STILL, focused and able to enjoy the moment instead of just frantically moving and thinking.
This kriya reminds me a jacket for crazy people but it feels much better. (Not that i tried it) Even it’s purpose is similar instead of going through life sporadically it focuses energy instantly.
It reminds me of the mechanics of a light bulb. Light bulb lights up because all the energy from the wiring is concentrated together in a spiral. Same with bound lotus we concentrate all of our otherwise would be lost energy into a closed circuit in shape of infinity sign. It causes the energy to stay and circulate within us for what we need instead of floating out and dispersing in the universe.
Thats where longevity comes from for those who practice this kriya. They are focusing their energy and at the same time preserving it.
I’m guessing the reason behind my pain was some sort of grief I was feeling that wanted to come out.
I mean why shouldn’t laws of electricity apply to our bodies right?
We save electricity, hot water, gas we also need to preserve our bodily energy because we ‘only’ have finite amount of it.
Day 23
Oh what a pain! My lower back was screaming like it was on fire. But I prevailed hoping I’ll take Epsom salt bath later. What a bummer when I found out that there is no more salt in the container!!!! I had it fixated in my memory that there is one big ball of it.
Today was probably one of the worst days. I lay there thinking I will give up after this, it is ridiculous, I got really angry and actually I still am. Took out the frustration on fero and cookie (my cats)
So many days more…
I’m determined to keep up and take care of myself.
Note: I warmed myself with sun salutations and kriya for circulation from bound lotus manual.
Day 24
What the difference from the day before. I truly believe that each day is new day on a journey.
It was after my class on Thursday so I was a little bit warmed up plus playing the gong helped me heal previous pain.
New lesson learned: in order to release pressure of my back I keep leaning more on to my head and forehead. Everytime I would feel something in my back and pushed more on my forehead. I feel like that helped.
On a different note. By now I know all the words to ray man shabd. Yeah!
Day 25
Sad news.
Today I decided to quit bound lotus. I love it very much it makes me feel great when I’m down with my forehead on the floor. But bound lotus doesn’t love me back.
I touched my lower back today and I felt right side of my spine bulging up a little bit. And there was no such a thing on the other side. To tell the truth, I would be able to do my practice today the pain is not that bad but I had to think rationally.
It doesn’t only put strain on my back muscles it might cause an inflammation. That’s not some mental block that I might have. When my back has been hurting every day, some day more some day less, it is not gonna get better, most probably it will get worst.
There are thousands of other kriyas and meditations that I can do. For bound lotus I have to prepare thoroughly and not do it every day but just once in a while.
My heart goes out to all others who are still on their bound lotus journey. Specially Liz from FB, Ramdesh Kaur and of course all my respects and blessing to Mahan Kirn Kaur.
Day 2 of not doing bound lotus.
Pain in my back is still there I hope it gets better soon.
Somehow I also feel that if I were to continue this misalignment would adjust itself. I draw this conclusion from the fact that while during practicing BL the pain would come in and go slightly away.
I don’t regret my decision to quit. I listened to my body after I tuned in with Adi Mantra. And as I sat there and listened to that subtle wisdom inside of me I heard:
“hey you! You have something bulging out on the right side of your spine it has been pain to your body, it has made you feel like an old lady, afraid to bend over! If you continue there is a chance it might get worst! Is this what you want? I don’t think so.
Relax ok? And forgive yourself.”
Oh… my inner voice can sound so corse and inconsiderate.
By the way how does your inner voice sound like?
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