Who’s that girl.

The other day I’ve read my friend’s experience riding NYC subway on Facebook.
As he was going to work one day, across from him sat someone who looked like he could have been from a middle eastern country. The man was reciting something to himself. It freaked my friend so much that he got out and changed the subway car. He admitted later that this action was totally wrong and foolish of him for many reasons one of them is because he wasn’t any safer in the next car.

I ride the subway all the time and sometimes I recite my so Purkh or some other mantra. Sitting on hard subway benches can a good meditative posture. I am able to get myself in deep meditative state to the point when I start to feel as if there was a light emanating from me. All of a sudden the subway ride become rather pleasant experience.
First I was very embarrassed to do that but since I did it once and it was fine, I continue to recite my So Purkh more often. I noticed people looking at me more than before but I sensed positive energy from everyone.
When I read my friend’s experience I was more conscious that I too might look like some sort of terrorist or maybe a crazy lunatic.

And today it happened. As I was sitting in the corner of a subway car, a mother with two children got in. They sat across from me. Two stops later they got out and I saw them changing the cars and sitting down in the next one.
Ok maybe they just wanted more space since the bench they were on was shorter. I don’t know what their intention was. BUT please if you see someone reciting something somewhere, it could just be a simple yogi(ni) doing their sadhana.

Sat Nam
Harkaran Zita

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Bound Lotus Diary Part 2

What a difference can one day make.

Day 20
Here is the picture of where I’m at:

My left knee on two pillows and head on two pillows and four towels.
Hmmm I’m making progress.
My back pain is there all day. I can’t really lift anything. Hopefully it’s just soreness.
I did kriya for sciatic nerve before bound lotus thinking that might be the problem but it didn’t seem to ease out the pain. I guess I need to practice it more often.
What hurts now is lifting things, rolling back and forth on my back, and bending forward.
I hope this is part of the process and not real injury.
Liz from FB discussion said she is having similar problem. She suggested not to go so high with the pillows. That means a lot of experimentation will be happening. She was very strong on the point to not give up. I needed it because I was gonna quit tomorrow.
It’s so strange to be thinking about quitting. Especially since this is not due to lack of time or feeling lazy. I really want to do it but my pain and stiffness is standing in my way.
Today was the first night sleeping on a new mattress. It feels heavenly, hopefully it will also improve my back pain. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Day 21
After getting some support from Liz on FB I tried no pillows under my head. I was able to do it, just kept thinking that I need to bend from the hinge of the hips. Instead of somewhere higher. I was fine the whole time and hope I will be ok tomorrow. Need to get more Epsom salt though.

Day 22
Just finished Bound Lotus during Gurunam’s Kirtan. Great idea! I stretched, did some warm ups and my back was fine. On the other hand I started to feel the knees but nothing serious. But hey its always something with this kriya. Back is not perfect and pain seemed lessen.
I’m happy that I stick to it.

WHAT I’VE NOTICED
Volunteering for Gurunam’s Kirtan made me excited and I couldn’t sit still because i had all this energy of expectation and excitiment. When the concert began, I was still pretty scattered.
After 11 minutes of Bound lotus I was feeling STILL, focused and able to enjoy the moment instead of just frantically moving and thinking.
This kriya reminds me a jacket for crazy people but it feels much better. (Not that i tried it) Even it’s purpose is similar instead of going through life sporadically it focuses energy instantly.
It reminds me of the mechanics of a light bulb. Light bulb lights up because all the energy from the wiring is concentrated together in a spiral. Same with bound lotus we concentrate all of our otherwise would be lost energy into a closed circuit in shape of infinity sign. It causes the energy to stay and circulate within us for what we need instead of floating out and dispersing in the universe.
Thats where longevity comes from for those who practice this kriya. They are focusing their energy and at the same time preserving it.
I’m guessing the reason behind my pain was some sort of grief I was feeling that wanted to come out.
I mean why shouldn’t laws of electricity apply to our bodies right?
We save electricity, hot water, gas we also need to preserve our bodily energy because we ‘only’ have finite amount of it.

Day 23
Oh what a pain! My lower back was screaming like it was on fire. But I prevailed hoping I’ll take Epsom salt bath later. What a bummer when I found out that there is no more salt in the container!!!! I had it fixated in my memory that there is one big ball of it.
Today was probably one of the worst days. I lay there thinking I will give up after this, it is ridiculous, I got really angry and actually I still am. Took out the frustration on fero and cookie (my cats)
So many days more… 
I’m determined to keep up and take care of myself.
Note: I warmed myself with sun salutations and kriya for circulation from bound lotus manual.

Day 24
What the difference from the day before. I truly believe that each day is new day on a journey.
It was after my class on Thursday so I was a little bit warmed up plus playing the gong helped me heal previous pain.
New lesson learned: in order to release pressure of my back I keep leaning more on to my head and forehead. Everytime I would feel something in my back and pushed more on my forehead. I feel like that helped.
On a different note. By now I know all the words to ray man shabd. Yeah!

Day 25
Sad news.
Today I decided to quit bound lotus. I love it very much it makes me feel great when I’m down with my forehead on the floor. But bound lotus doesn’t love me back.
I touched my lower back today and I felt right side of my spine bulging up a little bit. And there was no such a thing on the other side. To tell the truth, I would be able to do my practice today the pain is not that bad but I had to think rationally.
It doesn’t only put strain on my back muscles it might cause an inflammation. That’s not some mental block that I might have. When my back has been hurting every day, some day more some day less, it is not gonna get better, most probably it will get worst.
There are thousands of other kriyas and meditations that I can do. For bound lotus I have to prepare thoroughly and not do it every day but just once in a while.
My heart goes out to all others who are still on their bound lotus journey. Specially Liz from FB, Ramdesh Kaur and of course all my respects and blessing to Mahan Kirn Kaur.

Day 2 of not doing bound lotus.
Pain in my back is still there I hope it gets better soon.
Somehow I also feel that if I were to continue this misalignment would adjust itself. I draw this conclusion from the fact that while during practicing BL the pain would come in and go slightly away.
I don’t regret my decision to quit. I listened to my body after I tuned in with Adi Mantra. And as I sat there and listened to that subtle wisdom inside of me I heard:
“hey you! You have something bulging out on the right side of your spine it has been pain to your body, it has made you feel like an old lady, afraid to bend over! If you continue there is a chance it might get worst! Is this what you want? I don’t think so.
Relax ok? And forgive yourself.”

Oh… my inner voice can sound so corse and inconsiderate.

By the way how does your inner voice sound like?

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Bound Lotus Diary Part 1

As excited as I was to begin this practice, it was that much harder to have to end it.
I would like to offer you recap of my Bound Lotus experience because I want others to know
1) this kriya is very challenging (not that this point needs any more emphasis)
2) sometimes we have to accept a defeat and move on
3) there is NOTHING wrong in not being ready or able to practice yoga in a certain way.

Yogi Bhajan and other great yogis gave us so many kriyas, meditations, breathing technics that even the most inflexible or injured person can uplift their spirit. There are so many choices its like being in a big supermarket where a person with any diet or shape can find great foods to nourish his/hers body. There is nothing wrong with not being able to digest nuts even though people around you can’t stop praising those macadamias.

When I got my bound lotus manual and saw all these warm ups I needed to do, I was excited hoped by the end of this sadhana challenge I’ll be really flexible. Yes my initial thinking was “I’ll be like those ‘real’ rubber yogis from the magazines” – how naive of me.

Here is what really happened:
Started on November 9th
Day 3
I’ve been doing my sadhana in the evening the whole week but can’t wait to start my morning routine back on.
I already see a big difference in my flexibility. Although I need to stretch more before the practice.

Day 4
Left leg has increased in flexibility. Bound lotus doesn’t hurt. I’m getting more and more flexible in warm ups as well, if I’ll continue everyday like that I’ll be like a rubber.
Mental part.
Mind is not in meditative state at all. Even though I’m trying to focus at the third eye point I feel like the thoughts want to take me everywhere just not to stay in the pose. Weird. But at the end, when I rise up, I feel so smitten like as if I came back from a trip. Being a little spaced out and relaxed at the same time.

Day 6
Only? I feel like I was practicing this for a long time already… Anyway today I felt so stiff my lower back didn’t want to bend forward. I did my sadhana right after I woke up so maybe that played a big part in feeling stiff.
Left leg was giving me discomfort but after more stretching I was able to bend forward.
Mental
A lot of thoughts today. I try to stop them but my body always brings me back to ‘ooh my hips are sooo tight’, ‘I can’t focus my eyes’ ‘the towel is pushing my forehead…

Day 7
I practiced in evening when I’m more flexible.
LL – One pillow under knee
– two towels under my head
RL – just two towels for my forehead
Mental –
For a while on left side I got into this state where I felt like I was linked with yogis in ancient India. I saw myself there under the tree, being very humble to be part of this nature. I didn’t feel like getting up when the time was up
Then on right side the fidgeting started. My nose was itchy, all sort of things were bothering me but I prevailed.
It feels nice to feel my leg touching my chest.
I keep thinking how nice it must be to be able to be able to grasp my toes. …Oh the longing for my toes…
I would like to continue until I can do that.
Problem
The tendons in my left leg feels too stretched. Like I pulled it little too hard.

Day 10
Practiced after teaching yoga class.
Little bit worried about my left knee I feel something funny there.
Solution to not straining it is to put more pillows under my head as oppose to my knee.

Day 11
Evening practice after I hung out at my friend Adela’s place.
My left knee started to bother. I have to go back to keeping left leg on the floor in easy pose as oppose to resting on the right ankle.

Day 12
Great class with Mahan Kirin through spirit voyage.
She seems pretty strict but also very helpful.
I stretched pretty good and I learned how to do full lotus with support for ankles.
Great

Day 13
Squeezed the practice at the end of the day.
Have to try to do it inthe morning even thought I do feel more stiff.

Day 14
I’m getting better in estimating the right position I should be in.
Feels like my arms are getting longer.
But otherwise no progress in flexibility which is fine.
Have to practice in the morning. Again today I slept and ended up practicing in the evening. Not good.

Day 15
Finally I forced myself to wake up and do bound lotus in the morning.
What a great experience. Sun was shining temperature was perfect and my back was super stiff 😦
Now I feel great
My knees got comfortable.

Day 17
Already?
I stretched this morning during So Purkh. I guess I did the good job because. I used only two pillows under head for my left leg.
Pain in my knees is all gone and I just feel slight stretching in hip area and lower back.
I love this kriya. Yes it’s true your mind doesn’t want to stay down in the position but on the other hand I do it without much struggle.

Day 19
I almost couldn’t do this kriya today. My lower back is hurting me so much it’s hard to bend over. I had to promp myself with so many pillows and it still hurts. It was a funny pain not exactly sure where it comes from. Two minutes before left side was over I had to straighten myself up. The same happened on the other side even though I used much more pillows.
What is going on?
Am I hurting myself?
Today we (me and Tim) got a new mattress. I hope my lower back pain comes from the old mattress. So I will see if new one is gonna help.

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